


101 Ways

by Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bureaucracy, Disgruntled Ex-Stark Industries Employees, Fix-It, Following protocol, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mad Scientists, News Media, Politics, Science, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Spys being spy-like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-06-27 04:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 3,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19783264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad/pseuds/Anobaith_yw_fy_Nghymhelliad
Summary: Like the title says: it's 101 ways Spider-Man: Far From Home could ended better.Spoilers, duh.





	1. SHIELD I: Recruit?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They asked if he wanted to join SHIELD right after he got fired from SI.

A shadowy alley in the rain.  
“So Mr. Beck, how would feel about using your technology to protect the world?”  
“Can you make me more famous than Iron Man?”  
“Probably not, sir, Tony Stark is famous for more than just his heroics, he also owns a billion dollar company and has been in the news since he was born.”  
“Well, then you’re of no use to me. But we can’t have anyone knowing my plan or my face… so I guess you have to die. I’m sorry about this.”  
BAM!  
\-------------  
“How’d your talk with Beck go?”  
“Not well, he tried to kill me with a brick so I shot him. Unfortunately, he didn’t survive.”  
“At least nobody else will be able to use him either.”  
“Good point sir. What are we going to do about the Slovakia Accords?”  
“We'll wait it out.”


	2. SHIELD II: Watch List

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beck gets put on a watch list after Tony Stark of all people declares his ex-employee unstable.

“Sir, that man Tony Stark fired for being unstable purchased quite a bit of equipment yesterday. Cameras show he’s trying to build drones with it.”  
“Shut him down.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“...”  
“Wow, this watch list sure was a good idea, huh?”  
“Do your work, Stevens.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	3. SHIELD III: Facial Recognition System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD runs this Quentin Beck's face through their system.

“Sir, you told us to run the face of this ‘Quentin Beck’ through the system. He has the same face and name of someone from our Earth.”  
“So his story holds water? This Earth 833 was just like ours before the Elementals?”  
“Well sir, the thing is, his face matches exactly.”  
“...”  
“A little too, exactly if you get my meaning sir.”  
“Too exactly, Smith?”  
“There are no signs of premature aging from stress, scarring, or even a darker tan due to his entire planet supposedly burning, sir.”  
“Ah, so we’ve got a fake on our hands. Initiate Protocol Mirage 3046, Smith.”  
“Right away sir!”


	4. SHIELD IV: Multiverse Protocol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If the aforementioned dimension traveler(s) appears more advanced in technology, science, or medicine than our Earth and there is even the slightest chance of their being possibly hostile, kill them, take their technology, and blame their death on something. For excuses in the case of sudden death, refer to protocols 56900 through 590000. For judging technological, scientific, or medicinal advancement, refer to protocols 43000 through 44400. For the definition of dimension traveler(s) look at the paragraph above this one, fool.

“So you’re from Earth 833? How’s the tech over there?”  
“Well, before we were all wiped out by the Elementals, pretty advanced, as you can see.”  
“Alright. Small, this is a 717890.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
Thwap.  
“I love these sleeping darts.”  
\------------------  
“Uh, sir?”  
“Yes Small?”  
“It looks like Beck wasn’t quite telling the truth. He, uh, he was, well...”  
“Get to the point Small.”  
“Uh, he...wassortoflyingaboutbeingfromanotheruniverseusinghologramsanddronessir.”  
“Speak clearly, Small.”  
“Yes, sir! Beck was lying about being from another universe and using drones equipped with hologram tech in order to fake both his tech and the Elemental attacks.”  
“Well shit. Do we still have him in custody?”  
“Yes, sir. Him and about twenty accomplices who we caught trying to break him out.”  
“Give them all to the UN along with evidence of their crimes, the attacks have occurred in more than one nation, but since they’re not going to happen again it’s not our problem anymore.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	5. SHIELD V: Lie Detection Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every SHIELD recruit gets basic training, though ‘basic’ for SHIELD is, of course, ‘over the top’ for anyone else.

“Sir?”   
“Yes, Smerdyakov?”  
“That Beck character was lying the whole time.”  
“I knew that, Smerdyakov. Initiate Protocols 3 and 15, like I was just about to tell you to do.”  
“Yes, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smerdyakov is, in fact, Dimitri's last name, according to Wikipedia.


	6. SHIELD VI: Multiverse Files

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For information on Alternate Universes, refer to the SHIELD Handbook Part MMM, Section XV.

“Sir, according to the SHIELD Handbook, Earth 833 is a prehistoric planet where dinosaurs still roam the land and swim the seas.”  
“Well then, initiate Protocols 3 and 15.”  
“Spy-on and capture-if-a-threat protocols applied to Quentin Beck, sir.”  
“Isn’t that what I just told you to do, Smyer?”  
“Yes, sir! Sorry, sir! I won’t do it again, sir!”  
“See that you don’t. Contact me again when you’ve figured this guy out.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	7. SHIELD VII: Passports

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beck and crew used theirs to get into the EU like dummies.

“So we looked up this Quentin Beck guy like you told us to, and there’s something strange about the results, sir.”  
“Yes, Sok?”  
“Either this guy is telling the truth about his other universe backstory, and the fact that his this universe double just happened to book a flight to the attack areas with about twenty other people who were also fired from Stark Industries is a coincidence, or he’s lying and they faked all of these attacks using some sort of new technology, sir.”  
“I knew something smelled fishy. Initiate Protocols 3 and 15.”  
“Yes, sir.”


	8. SHIELD VIII: Watch List: Technology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD had its eye on BARF.

“Sir, this Quentin Beck character happens to have the same name and face as the creator of one of the WATCHED technologies.”  
“Which one, Sozzi?”  
“The hyper-realistic holographic imaging that Stark renamed BARF, sir.”  
“Well that’s a boring villainous backstory, isn’t it. Initiate Protocols 3 and 15 right away.”  
“Yes, sir.”


	9. SHIELD IX: Security Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They know Skrulls exist, so everyone has a few security questions, just like in Harry Potter.

“How do I know you’re really Nick Fury?”  
“Who else would I be, fool?”  
“Prove it, Mr. Fury sir. What did you tell me when we first met five years ago?”  
“You expect me to remember that, Parker? I’m an old man! I do remember that I accused you of trying to kill your friends yesterday, though.”  
“Nice try, Mr.Beck, but I met Mr.Fury for the first time a few days ago. Plus we were both Blipped. Hope I don’t see you again! Bye!”  
Woosh!  
“Did he just hitch a ride on the train I was going to kill him with?”  
“It sure looks like he did, Quentin.”


	10. SHIELD X: Satellites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD was watching EDITH the whole time, just in case.

“Sir?”  
“Yes, Scanlon?”  
“It looks like someone just called a drone strike on London using EDITH.”  
“Call Parker, now.”  
“Mr. Hogan is already trying to get in contact, sir.”  
“Connect him.”  
“Is this Parker?”  
“Is what Parker? No, this is Happy Hogan. Mr. Stark-”  
“Hold that thought for a moment, Mr. Hogan.”  
*whispering, “Scanlon? Shoot those drones out of the mother f***ing sky.”  
*speaking normally, “Yes, Mr. Hogan? A surfboard? Yes, that is mine. Thank you, I’ll pick it up soon. Have a nice day.”  
“The debris of the drone swarm has completely incinerated entering the atmosphere, sir.”  
“Good. It’s your move, Beck.”


	11. EMPs I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> According to Wikipedia, “an electromagnetic pulse (EMP), also sometimes called a transient electromagnetic disturbance, is a short burst of electromagnetic energy. Such a pulse's origin may be a natural occurrence or man-made and can occur as a radiated, electric, or magnetic field or a conducted electric current, depending on the source.
> 
> EMP interference is generally disruptive or damaging to electronic equipment, and at higher energy levels a powerful EMP event such as a lightning strike can damage physical objects such as buildings and aircraft structures.”

“We’ve lost contact with the drones!”  
“Communication with the team controlling the EMP generator is also down!”  
“Wait a second! These EMPs can be sensed by SHIELD’s satellites! How strong did we make them?”  
“Does it matter, as long as SHIELD notices them so we can confirm our story? We’re kind of in the middle of a crisis right now, don’t waste time focusing on something that’s not important!”  
“Strong EMPs knock out electronics you idiots! Are our drones even shielded??? NO!!! So now all that evidence is just out there!!! We’re done for, we’re finished, and before we even really started!!!”


	12. EMPs II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EMPs fry circuitry, yet somehow there’s a clip from a camera right before the Venice attack running on loop right in front of Schafer’s eyes.

“Sir?”  
“Yes, Schafer?”  
“Beck described the pre-Elemental energy spike as an EMP, right?”  
“Yes, Schafer. Why? Did they not show up on the satellites?”  
“No, sir. Yes, sir. That is, they did register to the satellites’ sensors as EMPs, but…”  
“But what, Schafer.”  
“But unlike a normal, or well… real EMP, they didn’t knock out any of the tech in the area. We have footage of the area right before the attack-during and after the energy spike-from multiple unshielded sources.”  
“So Beck was lying and he has the tech to trick our satellites? Immediately initiate Protocols 3 and 15.”  
“Yes, sir.”


	13. EMPs III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Flash really live streaming? In the middle of a giant water monster attacking Venice? Of course he is.

“And now the Elementals are attacking your Earth, in exactly the same places they did mine.”  
“Three attacks have already occurred just like Beck said they would, right down to the EMPs before them and the Elemental’s powers.”  
“That’s, uh, really not good, Mr.Beck. But, uh, can I talk to you for a second Mr. Fury? Alone?”  
“How important is it, Parker?”  
“Pretty important, sir. It’s about my roommate? He has some allergies I just remembered.”  
“Fine. We’ll be right back Mr. Beck, sorry about this.”  
“So sorry Mysteri-Mr. Beck, it’s just my friend, he’s really important to me-”  
“I understand kid. If my friends were still alive I’d do the same thing.”  
\------------------------------  
“So what is it, what’s that conversation interrupting snorer so allergic to you had to interrupt our conversation?”  
“Are you sure no one’s listening to us right now Mr. Fury?”  
“Sure as the day follows the night kid. You sure want to protect your friend, huh?”  
“Yeah, I want to protect everyone I care about, but Ned isn’t allergic to anything other than dandelions.”  
“Why are you wasting my time then Parker?”  
“EMPs destroy electronics if they’re strong enough, but one of my classmates was streaming the whole time while the Water Elemental was attacking!”  
“Are you saying that Beck what, lied about the EMPs occurring and then faked them to gain our trust?”  
“You said it, not me!”  
“I’ll cover for you Parker. Maria will give you something to fake an allergic reaction for your friend, just in case Beck has eyes on you. Get out of here kid, we’ll take care of it.”  
“Thanks, Mr. Fury, sir! Please don’t interrupt my vacation again unless it’s an emergency! Bye!”  
“Everything’s an emergency in our line of work…”


	14. Infrared Cameras I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The drones don’t project in the infrared spectrum and Peter uses that setting on his goggles to try and spot the Fire Elemental.

These goggles have infrared vision, right? They are made for nighttime escapades, so they probably-hopefully?-do. How to… ah, there it is, a little knob on the rim, sort of like the notches in the edge of a camera lens that let you spin it. One click, two-maybe he should have asked that blonde lady for an instruction pamphlet, nothing’s really changing-there! Third time really is the charm.  
Infrared is the perfect way to keep an eye out for the Fire Elemental! It is heat-based, after all, so there ought to be some sort of warning, the ground glowing with heat somewhere… but there’s nothing extra-warm about the ground at all. Instead, there’s just a bunch of flying points of heat, swirling around like some sort of flock of birds.  
Peter pulls his goggles up onto his forehead, brow furrowed. There are no birds to be seen, there isn’t anything at all that they could be, either. Are the goggles malfunctioning? Nope, when he pulls them back over his eyes his hands turn into bright spots of color. So what’s with the swarm? Maybe he should try catching one? Yeah, that seems like a good idea. Something that only shows up on infrared must be pretty dangerous, right? And it’s Spiderman’s job to protect people, apparently, even when he’s on vacation. Maybe he should catch more than one? It’ll be easier to figure out what they are and what they can do with a bigger sample size, plus if they are dangerous even one escaping would be bad news, so he should catch all of them.  
Yeah, catching all of them, maybe turning it into a game, plus five points for each one? Five is a good number, it adds well, it multiplies well, it’ll work. Well then, that’s decided, might as well get started.  
\---------------------  
“Sir?”  
“Yes, Schmitt?”  
“It looks like Spiderman is, well, swinging around and attacking nothing, sir?”  
“Nothing, Schmitt?”  
“The camera’s aren’t showing anything, but his hits are definitely connecting? I’m not sure what’s going on sir, I’ve never seen anything like it. One of his webs just went right through Beck, sir, tell me you’re seeing what I’m seeing.”  
“That I am, Schmitt, if you’re crazy then the rest of us are too.”  
“Spiderman just, uh, tied up another Beck? The one flying around keeping watch keeps flickering on and off like a weak signal. I think this is some sort of new tech, sir. The nothing Spiderman was attacking before is apparently a bunch of flying white things that were cloaked, probably drones.”  
“Well, this is quite the predicament. Go help Spiderman clean up, we’re taking Beck into custody.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	15. Infrared Cameras II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evils didn’t have the funding to figure out how to holograph in infrared after they split from SI.

“Uh, Beck?”  
“Yes? What is it?”  
“I have one question about your plan? What do we do if someone uses an infrared camera to record one of the Elemental fights?”  
“What? What? What? Do we not have a way to apply the holographic programming to heatwaves or just cloak the drones and use some sort of hand-wavey magic explanation for the Elementals not having heat signatures?”  
“Well we could maybe do both those things, but we don’t really have the funding for either? Plus if we did do the second one you-as-the-traveler-from-833 wouldn’t have a heat signature either?”  
“ARRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!!”  
*and so Peter Parker’s vacation was never interrupted*


	16. Infrared Cameras III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD records the second Elemental attack in more than just 1080 p. They also use infrared.

“Mr. Fury, sir? It looks like Beck was lying.”  
“I totally called it! Where’s the proof, Scott?”  
“We recorded his battle against the Earth Elemental as many ways as possible, like you told us to, and the infrared and normal videos don’t match up at all.”  
“Alright folks, initiate Protocols 3 and 15 quick like.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	17. Infrared Cameras VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter puts an infrared googles function in the suit he made on the plane.

"So what’s the plan, Peter?”  
“The plan is that we hope my Spidey Sense-”  
“You mean your Peter Tingle?”  
“Yeah my Peter Tin-no, stop calling it that! We hope it starts working again, but also don’t only rely on something that has proven to be quite unreliable and have a backup plan.”  
“What’s the backup plan?”  
“Infrared! I looked into the BARF program and it only covered the spectrum of light visible to humans! I’ll put a heat vision function in the mask and bam! No illusion issues!”  
“Wow kid, that’s pretty genius!”  
“I think you meant… ingenious!”


	18. The IRS I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evils couldn't properly justify the expensive expenses.

“Hey Steve?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Does this spending report look a little sketchy to you?”  
“Yeah man, for one the business is called Better Hero Inc. Plus these ‘travel, prop, and security’ expenses are kind of astronomically high for a small independent film studio.”  
“I thought so. They filed taxes for about twenty employees, but that’s also the number of people they’re traveling with everywhere they go.”  
“And the security expenses! They must be moving valuable cargo on those trips but the TSA has never even brought them in for questioning or anything!”  
“Yeah, this seems like an issue for the higher-ups.”  
“Man, am I glad that’s not my job! Too much paperwork!”


	19. The IRS II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evils justified their expenses but they were too honest, the FBI and CIA were on to them so SHIELD was on to them too.

“Fury, sir?”  
“Yes, Scully?”  
“The CIA and FBI are both tracking this small independent film studio because it’s spent a substantial amount of money on ‘drone upkeep’ and bullets in the last year?”  
“So? If the Feds and Intelligence are both onto these schmucks we hardly need to get involved.”  
“Well, I would agree with you, sir, except for the fact that the founder of the studio’s name is Quentin Beck? And I feel like that’s a little suspect, sir?”  
*heavy sigh*  
“Why didn’t you lead with that?”  
“Sorry, sir, I just-”  
“That was a rhetorical question. Get work on Protocols 3 and 15, with Beck and this film company as the targets.”  
“Yes, sir!”


	20. The IRS III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of SI’s accountants retired to a consultant position in the IRS to take care of his kids more, and he recognizes Beck’s name because Accountant-dad looked into why the man was fired but offered a bonus that had to be spent on therapy. (Quentin didn’t accept the bonus.)

“Boss, a man Tony-I-acted-out-at-my-own-birthday-party-because-I-was-dying-but-didn’t-want-to  
-tell-anyone-Stark called unstable has thousands of bullets on his list of work expenses, who do I report this to?”  
“Tony Stark called this guy unstable?”  
“Tony Stark fired this guy for being unstable and then offered him a good-bye bonus with a requirement that Beck get therapy. Beck didn’t take him up on the offer.”  
“Here, take this number. It’s for a guy I used to know, called Dimitri, he’ll get you in touch with people who can do things.”  
“Thank you for the… vaguely threatening and hopefully not illegal tip, Boss. I’ll see you around.”  
“Tell your girls I said hi, Sedillo.”  
“Sure thing, Boss, tell your son happy birthday from me and my girls!”


	21. The IRS IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The evils get caught because of tax (incompetence) fraud.

“Mr. Beck? We have a few questions for you.”  
“What seems to be the problem, mam?”  
“On your tax returns you claimed that your number of dependents was… seven-point-six billion, is that correct?”  
“Yes, why?”  
“That’s the entire world population, sir.”  
“The world is depending on me to save them.”  
“Alright sir that’s all I needed to hear.”  
“Thank goodness this waste of time is ov-Wait! What are you-”  
“You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say-”  
\----------------  
“And he said he needed to save the world?”  
“From who?”  
“Or what dude don’t assume things.”  
“That’s the thing, he refused to say.”  
“Man, what an idiot. Why would you file something like that?”


	22. Congress I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laws about BARF tech and telling if videos are fake was passed to prevent interference in elections and politics in general.

“In response to Stark Industries’ new holographic technology, the so-called ‘Barf Bill’ has officially passed into law. Meant to regulate the use of this technology in order to prevent interference in national, state, and local elections, the bill was proposed in the House of Representatives just hours after Stark’s new tech was announced, and the legislation passed into the Senate with a near unanimous vote just a few weeks later. Last night it passed in the Senate, and this morning the President signed it into law.”  
“What exactly does this law do?”  
“It allocates part of the budget to determining a way to ensure that any apparent event or person is not a hologram, and requires that Stark Industries keep the technology secret and restrict access to it until such a time as a failsafe test is created. Stark has already expressed an intent to expedite said process themselves by researching possible tests in house.”  
“Wow, what a crazy world we’re living in today, holograms, super heroes, what can you even trust!”  
“At least the weather is still reliably unreliable!”  
“Speaking of which, here’s Allen, with the week’s forecast! Take it away Allen!”


	23. Congress II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They call in experts after the whole London Elemental holographed apart and before Spidey was accused.

“After hours of deliberation, the Senate has decided to pass a resolution to discover who faked the so called ‘Elemental’ attacks and punish them to the fullest extent of the law.”  
“That’s right Janet! And while hours might seem like a long time that was actually a rather fast reaction time on the behalf of the US Congress, as the attack on London by what appeared to be some sort of elemental god turned out to be an elaborate hoax with drones and hologram technology, rather than an actual attack by a creature made of the classical elements.”  
“At least, that is the final opinion that the House of Representative Standing Committee on Unusual Events came to after interviewing multiple experts in not just drones, hologram technology, and computer animation, but also in rare weather events, the mystical arts, and the existence of beings previously believed to be mythical.”  
“What I wouldn’t give to have lunch with some of those people!”  
“Yeah, it was quite the cast of characters! Anyway, to recap for those who missed the beginning of the segment, the Congress of United States has decided to classify the ‘Elemental’ attacks on Ixtenco, Venice, Prague, Paris, and London as terrorist attacks on US allies due to recent evidence from the London attack and expert testimony-apparently there were never any crazy elemental creatures at all, but rather extremely advanced drones and hologram technology. Right now, the CIA is working with forgien intelligence agencies to look into the culprit of the attacks. More on this situation as it develops.”


	24. European Union I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are laws about airspace and drone use, and people watching the skies, thus the evils are caught.

“We didn’t have any approved low-fliers today, right?”  
“No, the last one was two weeks ago, next one is in a month. Why?”  
“We’ve got over a dozen approximately drone sized objects appearing on the radar right now.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah man, look at this. I even tried turning it off and turning it on again.”  
“What is this, some kind of terrorist attack?”  
“...”  
“...”  
“I’m calling this in.”  
“Good idea.”


	25. European Union II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can’t sneak in a banana you can’t sneak in a tonne of drones.

“Excuse me sir, we’re going to have to talk to you.”  
“Yes?”  
“You listed the contents of your shipment as about two tonnes of cat food, correct?”  
“Yes?”  
“Then why does your crate contain approximately two tonnes of drones?”  
“Oh Tony Stark’s bedsheets!”  
“If that is meant to be an expletive of some sort, then I understand the sentiment, but I am afraid that I must inform you that you are under arrest. Here’s your order and the list of your rights, translated into your native language for ease of understanding. Now, if you will come this way?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was I trying to hard to be clever? Probably, but give past-me a break, it was late.


	26. European Union III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have heroes of their own who are not happy about the elementals.

“Electrokinetic Blitzkrieg has arrived at the scene of the ongoing elemental attack in Prague. Germany's own hero, this man’s electric personality makes him the best option for many issues. It is yet to be seen if fighting a giant lava monster is one of those.”  
“He’s approaching it… looks like he’s about to shock it-and oh my god, is that thing lighting up! Who would have thought hot rocks were that conductive!”  
“Um, Harold, I don’t think that thing was hot rocks at all…”  
“You’re right… are those drones? Was this whole thing some sort of scam?”  
“We’ll check back in on the situation right after this commercial break!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick formatting question: this would be easier to read with space between the different people talking, right?  
> also, blitzkrieg exists in the marvel comic universe, i did not make him up. idk about the mcu though

**Author's Note:**

> If you're subscribed to me I'd suggst unsubcribing until this is over unless you want 99 more emails. Batten the hatches.


End file.
